Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Yeah, I saw Breaking Dawn

Yes, I saw Breaking Dawn. I even saw it on opening day, but no, not at midnight. I’m very lucky that there is a theater nearby that offers 21 and older screens. Oh yes, that means no screaming teens anywhere near you. The chairs are huge and plush and if you want you can even enjoy an adult beverage. Oh and the best part? Reserved seating, so no lining up. This is the only way to see one of these movies.

I was really surprised at how many men were at that showing, I think there had to be something like 1 man for every 4 women. Impressive, really. Anyway, that’s not the point of my post.

So yes, I’ve read all four Twilight books and when I read them, I really enjoyed them. I was totally Team Edward and full out hated both Bella and Jacob. But then, after the glow of the fantasies wore off, I started to really think about the books. Yes, they’re kinda bad. I won’t get down on the writing because I had a good time reading them and I liken them to a fast food meal. We all know it’s bad for us, but every once in a while that’s what you want. What I had a problem with was the type of “heroine” Bella was.

Bella wasn’t endearingly clumsy, she was stupid clumsy. Bella wasn’t attracted to Jacob, but that didn’t stop her from leading him on or letting him manipulate her. Bella was fully in love with Edward, but that didn’t stop her from throwing Jacob in his face over and over again. I’m sorry, but if the guy in the story did the same thing to his girlfriend we would all hate him with the heat of a thousand suns. Don’t act like that isn’t true. And Breaking Dawn did a fabulous job of reminding me why I hate Bella so much.

I’m a married woman. My wedding day went by in a blur, especially the ceremony. I remember standing with my dad, holding onto his arm and saying, “Wait, are we going right now? Already?!” But when you look at the pictures of me walking down the aisle, do you know what I’m doing? I’m smiling. I’m looking at my husband-to-be and smiling. My mother whispered to me, “You look so beautiful” as I passed her and I smiled at her. I smiled at my dad and gave him a kiss when he gave me away. I smiled at my bridesmaids. I smiled at the minister. I smiled. What did Bella do? She looked like she was going to be sick, she looked like she couldn’t be more angry to be walking down the aisle, she looked like her father was dragging her down the aisle and forcing her into an arranged marriage. And when did Bella finally smile? Oh right, when the guy who has been trying to break up her relationship for the last couple of years finally shows up. Not only does she smile but she runs to him and jumps into his arms and clings to him.

Really? I know my husband would’ve been okay with that behavior.

I know, I know, it’s just a movie, it’s just a book, it’s just a fantasy. I know that. But fantasy or not, they are asking us to believe that this girl is madly in love with this guy and that if he ever died, left her or rejected her she would die. Point blank. But she can’t smile on her wedding day? Really?

It’s bad enough this saga has sent the message to girls that you should get married one week out of graduating high school, but then to tell them that it’s okay to act this way between two guys when you’re doing it? Yeah, no. I just hope the mothers out there are talking to their daughters about this. And I know we’re not supposed to hold up the morality mirror to this story, but when I hear about teenagers biting each other trying to emulate this stuff, you can’t help but flash that mirror.

Anyway. It wasn’t quite as bad as the first two movies, I have to admit. And occasionally the acting wasn’t quite as wooden and wax figure-ish. But I just know the second part (yeah still annoyed that they felt the need to split this book into two movies) is going to be so much worse and pointless. Nothing freaking happens in the second half of the book! It is completely anticlimactic, people! But whatever; we’ll all go see that one too.


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